What do you do to make your child confident? Do you tell them that they are amazing? Do you say that they are smart? Do they believe you?
Today, I am going to share the story of an autistic child who was brought to the doctor after a severe mental breakdown at school. His school had completely given up on him; they asked his parents to transfer him to another school because they did not believe he had the capability to thrive in their institution. His parents were distraught and deeply worried, but they firmly believed that their child had a lot of potential; all he needed was a little help.
Treatment was immediately started, and the child showed drastic improvement with no residual symptoms. During one of his recent sessions with the doctor, he mentioned that he was competing in a birding competition and had already won several rounds. What I loved most about this session was the immense pride in his parents’ eyes and the confidence with which the child described the entire birding process. It wasn’t just about the competition; it was about the journey he had taken to get there, the skills he had developed, and the belief in himself that had blossomed along the way.
Similarly, I came across another young girl who was diagnosed with autism and is now working for one of the biggest names in the tech industry due to her talent for computer animations. She mentioned this during a recent session, prompted by her proud father. His pride was palpable, as was her quiet confidence—a confidence nurtured over the years by parents who recognized and supported her talents.
The takeaway from these stories is that an unexpected talent was found in these kids, on whom everyone else had given up—except their parents, who stood beside them strong and steady. Every child is special, every child is unique, and every parent knows that. But not every child knows that. So next time you are about to tell your child that they are smart, stop and tell them why they are smart. Do they excel in math? Are they good at riddles? Or is solving puzzles just a piece of cake for them? Next time you are about to tell them that they are good at everything, instead, tell them they are good at sports, drawing, dancing, or music.
Find that talent in your child so they can believe in it. If they can focus on something and see themselves excel at it, it will help them become confident in their own shoes. Once they start believing in their talent, facilitate them in polishing it and support them in their journey. Be that person they know will always be there—happy to watch them excel on their own or willing to lend a hand when needed.
Farees Ahmad Khan, a graduate of Khyber Medical College in Peshawar, Pakistan, is an aspiring psychiatrist with a deep passion for the field. Growing up in a closely-knit family, she is known for her compassion, which is reflected in her patient care. As a good listener, she prioritizes the well-being of her patients. In addition to expanding her knowledge in psychiatry, Farees enjoys immersing herself in fantasy books, finding both inspiration and relaxation in their imaginative stories.
Farees is dedicated to making a positive impact in mental health, both through her clinical work and by sharing her insights with a broader audience. She believes in holistic care and strives to provide compassionate and effective treatment to all her patients.
