Med Student Breaks Down After She's Blindsided by Shocking Rejection. Now She May Be Forced to Leave Fiancé Behind (Exclusive)

• On March 17, medical students around the country learned whether or not they landed a place in a residency program for after graduation. Jessica Pereira did not match anywhere.

• The 30-year-old opened up to her followers on TikTok, sharing that she wasn’t selected for any spots for her dream speciality, plastic surgery, nor her second choice of general surgery.

• Now Pereira is fighting for a place anywhere, even if that means she’s states away from her fiancé, who entered into his residency in Alabama last year.

Jessica Pereira isn’t one of those medical school students who spent their whole lives wanting to be a doctor, but she’s no less determined to reach her goals. She decided she belonged in a hospital after ending her competitive swimming career, dropping her Olympic dreams to dive into a completely different field.

After college, the Florida native encountered her first hurdle at the gates of medical schools. She wasn’t accepted anywhere in the United States, so she opted to attend the Trinity School of Medicine in the Caribbean. For four years, she put her head down and studied hard, whether she was camped out in the library or, toward the end of her schooling, on rotations at stateside hospitals.

With her May graduation date in sight, Pereira, 30, applied for two types of residencies: plastic surgery and general surgery. On March 17, the match day results hit medical students’ inboxes, and Pereira was heartbroken to open an email stating that she wasn’t accepted into any programs for either of her chosen specialties.

Speaking to PEOPLE exclusively, Pereira admits she knew plastic surgery was a “long shot,” especially since she went to an international medical school. However, she was surprised to be rejected by her second choice for residency.

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“I really thought I was going to match general surgery. In fact, when I was rotating at one of the general surgery programs, I was even told by one of the program directors, ‘If I could offer you a spot right now, I would, but it’s illegal for me to do it outside of the match cycle,’ ” she recalls. “The chief resident at the program that I really thought I was going to match at told me I was one of the best med students they had.”

Her plan was to finish the five-year general surgery program then enroll in a plastics fellowship. No matter what it took, she would find a way to meet her goals — and that’s a mindset innate to her character.

“I’m somebody that’s always very hopeful,” says Pereira. “I really put myself out there. I fought to get opportunities. I’ve sat at tables with Ivy League grads for interviews for any opportunities. So I felt like, ‘Wow, if I can make it this far and make lemonade out of lemons, let me not count myself out.'”

Fueled by optimism and backed by the compliments she received on rotations, Pereira planned for success. For the past two years, she’s documented her medical school journey on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok, sharing both the highlights and the harder times. She was confident that her Monday announcement would glow above it all.

“I literally thought I was going to match to the point where I already bought my Match Day outfit to wear. I literally bought the dress. I knew what audio I was going to use to make a social media post,” she says. “I was sucker-punched on Monday. I couldn’t believe it at all.”

Tuesday’s post was tearful. “I honestly don’t know the best approach to this. I did not match,” Pereira began in her nearly three-minute TikTok update, which has over 89,000 views on the app.

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After thanking her followers, friends and broader network for their support over the past day, she continued, “I think I’m just so tired of feeling this way. I feel like I keep putting myself in the position to be shattered, and I build myself up only to fall and break even more.”

Days later, Pereira tells PEOPLE that she’s still riding the rough emotions.

“I sit down now and I’m like, ‘Does this mean I’m going to be one of those people? I have a whole M.D. and I’m not going to do anything with it? Does this mean I’m not meant to be a surgeon? What do I do?'” she wonders. “It’s tough.”

It was hard to bring herself to upload the news in the first place, but just like with many of her other social media posts, Pereira was compelled to demonstrate the less-seen side of the journey. She admits that she felt alone throughout medical school, and during that time she often felt like she was the only one struggling.

“The only thing you see on social media for the most part is all the success stories where people look like it’s so easy and it’s so fun for them, and I’m sitting here and I’m like, ‘I’m miserable. I cry all the time. I don’t know up from down,'” says the aspiring surgeon. “I feel like there’s a lot of pressure to be perfect in medical school, and you feel like you’re the only one that’s not.”

When she started on rotations at hospitals in the U.S., Pereira finally got to know other medical students with similar experiences to her own. Those encounters inspired her to get online and talk openly about all that she was enduring on her journey to the operating room.

“Part of why we feel so alone is because nobody’s speaking about it. So I just risked it all. I was like, ‘I’m going to just talk about how I feel,'” she explains.

For the most part, her content has been met with very supportive, positive feedback. Her heart was especially warmed by the messages and comments in response to her Match Day video. She’s heard from pre-med undergraduates, first and second year medical students and several doctors and surgeons.

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“[I’ve heard] stories that I would’ve never known about their struggles — them not passing board exams, them not matching. I’m like, ‘Oh, wow. And look at you now, thriving,'” says Pereira. “I was shocked by the response and the reaction that I’ve received from that video, and it’s honestly helped a lot.”

Luckily, every kindness extended by a stranger has been mirrored by her biggest fan, Pereira’s fiancé Tosin Oladunjoye. They met at the very beginning of medical school, when they were placed next to each other per alphabetical order for their white coat ceremony. Though they started at the same time, Pereira took longer to prepare for her first board exam and fell behind Oladunjoye.

Before he graduated Trinity last year, Oladunjoye successfully matched into an emergency medicine residency in Alabama. Pereira was hoping to end up in Florida, where she could be close to home and close to him.

Amid her match day disappointment and uncertainty about how close they’ll be living over the next few years, Oladunjoye had stepped up as the ultimate supportive partner. He manages to show up for Pereira even as he navigates the constant demand of working in a hospital.

“I don’t know what I would do without him,” says the former athlete. “He’s at work right now. He’s in one of the toughest blocks, he’s in a trauma block right now, and he’s literally calling and texting [me].”

She continues, “The other day he was running down the stairs — I could hear him running down the stairs — and he’s still calling to check in on me because I had texted, ‘I wish I could talk to you …’ That’s how supportive he has been.”

Pereira is visiting him in Alabama right now, as they were hoping to celebrate her Match Day results together. Despite the “nightmare” this week has turned out to be, she says her husband-to-be still treats her like the doctor she wants to become.

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“He comes home every day, and the first thing he says when he opens the door is, ‘Hello, my surgeon,’ ” she tells PEOPLE. “He’s still putting that power in me and he’s still saying, ‘That’s who you are. We just haven’t gotten there yet. But that’s who you are, and I know you’re going to do it.'”

Indeed, there are still some options open to Pereira, though they’re limited and dwindling by the hour — literally. Unmatched medical students can try to nab unfilled residency spots through the Supplemental Offer and Acceptance Program (SOAP). On Monday night, Pereira applied to one-year, preliminary general surgery openings across the country.

If she manages to secure a job through SOAP, then she’ll have a temporary position in the surgical world. SOAP offers entry into full, three-year internal medicine residencies, but Pereira says she’s “sticking my ground and fighting to still be a surgeon.”

Unfilled residencies phone applicants from Monday through Thursday. The first round of SOAP offers go out at 9 a.m. EST, then again at noon. Another round starts at 3 p.m., and the day’s final calls start at 8 p.m. As of midday Thursday, Pereira has yet to hear from anywhere.

“I feel like it’s slim odds. I feel like the longer it goes, spots are being taken right now as we’re speaking. The closer you approach the end of the week, the less chance of you getting something,” she tells PEOPLE.

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As another backup plan, Pereira is applying to plastic surgery research year programs “so that I have something to continue to build, continue to make connections and continue to work towards my goal,” she says. She might also manage to match into something after the SOAP process ends with outside assistance, though she notes that happens only rarely.

“With the help of my school and any connections I have with residents and doctors that I know, people are going to have to help me and vouch for me and call programs and ask if an exception can be made,” she explains. “I’ve been rounding up my supporters and my village to help me get into something hopefully from now until July before residency starts.”

Since she’s open to any possibilities, Pereira realizes she might land far from the South, possibly an entire coast away from her fiancé. On Wednesday night, she asked Oladunjoye for his advice: “If something comes tomorrow, should I wait to see if I get something from your program or what?” she recalls of her question.

“He literally said, ‘If it says Michigan, you’re going to Michigan, and when I graduate I will come to Michigan.’ So we’re prepared to have to go anywhere,” she continues confidently. “At this point, beggars can’t be choosers. I’m not in the position to reject anything.”

Pereira’s spirits are as high as they can be, and she’s finding inspiration in her continued fight for her place. She notes one role model in particular whom she found through social media: Dr. Amaka Nwubah, a Black female plastic surgeon in Tennessee with her own private practice.

“She shared her story randomly one day, about a year and a half ago,” says Pereira. During her first match cycle, Dr. Nwubah didn’t place into any residency programs either.

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“I reached out to her on Monday immediately, and she’s literally one of the people who’s fighting for me and looking for spots and looking for opportunities,” Pereira tells PEOPLE. “She’s helping me to get something because this happened to her about 12 years ago. And look at her now.”

While Pereira is still on the road to living out all of her dreams, she has enough perspective to offer words of advice to any fellow unmatched medical students or any future doctors-to-be who find themselves in a similar spot one day.

“I still have no idea what’s going to happen to me. Speaking for myself, I have nothing. It’s hard. It’s super hard right now. I’m saying this as I hope this is true, but don’t give up,” she insists.

“You didn’t come this far to only come this far,” adds Pereira. “Somehow, some way, you’re going to get to where you need to be, and it’ll end up being the best thing for you.”

Read the original article on People